It Sounded Better In My Head

   I’ve come to learn that my mouth gets me in a lot of trouble. At first I used to blame it on not thinking before I speak, but I know damn well that’s a lie. I’ll try to find the most considerate way of saying fuck off without using those words. The fact that my face and tone say exactly what I mean regardless of what I say doesn't help. Anyways, let me tell y’all bout this one time that me and my homegirl still die about to this day.

   So I think it’s safe to say if you have friends, we’ve all been in that “ take one for the team” situation. I am not one to take one for the team but I’ll tag along. (You’ll understand what I mean in a minute) So we go to the club and have a bomb time. My homegirl sees someone she knows & makes plans to link up. The problem is her appointment is 5 minutes from the club, we lived on the other side of town. Not having anywhere to go or anyone to do, I decided to hang out and wait for her. Now this is back in like 2009, 2010, phones weren’t what they are now. It was only so many games you could play before it’s a wrap. I agreed to go cuz I wasn’t gonna let her miss out. 

  This is where things started to go South. I was under the impression that I was sitting in the car. I had a bomb plan too. I was gonna drop her off, go grab some food, come back & eat, take a nap, unlock the doors when she called and then we head home. Perfect right, WRONG. So dude lives with his brother and when she went in, but I didn’t he asked why I didn't come in. Now I had a whole plan lined up, I did not want to go inside, but my homegirl gave me that look, that “bitch… please… this one time… I promise I owe you.” I take a deep breath and push forward against every fiber of my being.

   It wasn’t as bad as I thought tho. They had a beautiful pit puppy (I’m a sucker for animals) and I was good. I’m in heaven lovin' on this dog until reality started talkin’. I had completely forgot I came inside because the brother asked and not for the dog. It was such a crash landing to reality that I can’t even lie, I was being short as possible. Not rude, just givin’ dead end answers because I didn’t want to talk. Eventually it got to a point that he realized my focus was on the dog and not him. He threatened to put the dog back in the kennel. That being my only saving grace at this point I declined.

   How I got the impression it was ok to tell him he couldn’t put HIS dog up, I don’t know to this day, but that instant is when shit hit the fan. Taken back by my answer, and rightfully pissed, he told me I could get in the kennel with the dog. Me bein' me, who didn’t even want to come inside, and was already bein’ “nice”, I had a fuck it moment. Before I knew what was goin’ through my head my mouth was movin’. “ Why you actin’ so desperate? You really that jealous of a dog?”

That’s when he told me to get the fuck out. Not only did he tell me to get the fuck out, he opened the door on my homegirl and his brother and said she had to get the fuck out too. 

   This was like a free hall pass for me, I had been ready to leave. I was confused why the anger was direct at my homegirl tho, so again, me bein’ me and not knowing, rephrase, not caring when to stop, “why you kickin’ her out? I said it and I’m leavin’. What’s the problem?” Y’all, he stood in the doorway waiting for them to get dressed so she could leave too. His brother tried to salvage the situation but it was like throwin’ gas on a fire, dude was so over me and my shit. The best part is the three of us still laugh about it to this day. And plot twist, we all were reintroduced a while ago and there were no sparks or fires. We just laughed it off and said the past is the past but agreed to go our separate ways.

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