Ladies…. We need to talk. Honestly, when’s the last time you woke up, before you accomplished anything and told yourself, “I’m bomb af.” Before you got dressed or dolled in any way, in your most natural, raw state, when’s the last time you looked at yourself naked in a mirror and said, “ I’m fuckin’ gorgeous.” If that’s already routine for you, I have nothing but accolades for you. If you had to pause or think, I’m talkin to you. The image you uphold for the outside world has nothing to do with how we view ourselves. If we aren’ truly embracing the idea that we are worthy, confident and beautiful in our most natural state, we’re just going through the motions and dying a slow death. Don’t feel attacked or defensive, I wouldn’t be able to recognize it if I didn’t do it too.
The root of anything we aspire for ourselves comes from self care. We have to learn to accept and love ourselves as we are. If nothing changes, we have to be able to accept that we are who we are, and we have to learn to be unapologetic about it. If you need to cancel some plans because you feel off balance, do it. Anytime we feel inadequate, it’s because we’ve given too much to those around us and not enough to ourselves. Once we take that step back and realize, everything we’ve been giving to others, expecting from others, lacking from others, is already inside of us… We can learn to pour into ourselves first. We can learn to fulfill ourselves so we are actually radiating the love and peace and confidence we are instead of trying to appeal to other people’s perceptions of those qualities.
Y’all, finding comfort and acceptance in yourself is so important to embracing who you are. Even doing small things around the house can have tremendous effects on your self image and confidence levels. We’re all self conscious about something. When I was at my lowest point, y’all wanna know what got me out that trench? Doing the exact things I was scared to do. I started wearing makeup around the house. Even though it wasn’t perfect, it gave me something to look forward to and reason not to cry. When I struggled with my body changing, I wore swimwear, lingerie and anything else in my wardrobe that forced me to get familiar with my body. At first, I felt so ashamed, on both accords, But after the first week, it became more normalized. The more I did what I was hiding from, the less sensitive I became about it.
At first I thought it would be in vain because I was doing everything at home, away from public opinions. It ended up building me up so much that when I finally got the courage to do things in public, nothing anybody said could phase me. I had already told myself the darkest things you could imagine in the first week while I was unhappy with myself. By the time people around me had a chance to say it, it was like tell me something I don’t know, keep it moving. There will always be people who are not pleased with you. That has nothing to do wit you. If you are happy with who you are, why the fuck does little bonnie’s or johnnie’s opinion that don’t even know ya birthday matter. It’s way too easy to lose yourself in this world trying to be the ideal woman. If you like it, it’s fulfilling you, keep doing it! Don’t let the world convince you that you don’t like yourself. Find out what caused that notion. If it’s something that you realize you want to change for you, make it happen. Just please, please remember to love yourself every step of the way, not just when you feel like you deserve it. You are deserving, you are beautiful, the world is in your hands if you allow yourself to receive it.