Do More For You, Expect Less

Today I want to talk about why people are scared to be genuine. Nobody is born with wall up and trust issues. After being screwed over and hurt, it's a defense mechanism we use to prevent it from happening again. The issue with that is, you can't know how a person can benefit your life at first glance. Vibrations speak volumes, and people can tell when you're keeping them in a safety zone. That works for the people who just want to waste your time, but it's very offsetting for someone who is truly trying to build a relationship with you, whether that's in business, friendship, or an intimate relationship. That wall that's up to protect you, is also blocking out all the things that can get you to the next level. 

 Hands down, the biggest reason why people get hurt so badly, is because they expect the people they meet to be extremely similar, if not identical, to how they think and act. Expecting someone to have the same logic as you, is a sure fire way to run head first into a wall. We all have different experiences and different beliefs. What's normal to you, might be extra effort for the next person. On top of that, people are so self entitled, that they do stuff with the thought of, " I'll look out for them now so they can do the same for me later". WRONG! Unless you sit down and talk to a person to see where their head is, you're setting yourself up to be highly disappointed because of your expectations.

  Favors will break up a whole family. Let's say your cousin asks you for a "favor". You come through for them, but when you ask the same favor in return, they say no. Are you mad? Why? Is it because they told you they would do the same, or you expected them to do the same?  You can't have a tit for tat mentality when you go into stuff, if you aren't verbal about it upfront. It's no different than mixing up borrow and have. When you start going into situations with a mentality that "this is it, I'm doing this because I want to, no strings attached", you'll have more peace of mind. Even if someone says they'll return the favor, still look at you as giving charity. If they make good on their word, great! If they don't, ok cool, because you've already let it go.

  Instead of blocking everybody, create a standard for yourself. Figure out what's the most you don't mind offering without anything in return, and it doesn't bother you. That's your standard. As long as you treat everybody at that standard, you're not blocking any opportunities that come your way, and you're preventing yourself from giving too much to people who aren't in your best interest. If people want more and you're not

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