Just Let Go

   Let it go. So generic, but so powerful at the same time. “Let it go” is some of the best advice in circulation. I know I used to get mad when I finished pouring out my frustration to a friend and their response was just “let it go”. I thought it was the laziest, most nonchalant response. “How dare you let me ramble for 45 minutes and all you have to say is ‘let it go’!?!” Y’all, I kid you not, I hated hearing those words as advice until it clicked recently. I was so focused on the literal meaning of letting go, that I didn’t realize the depth of the phrase, regardless of who was delivering the message. Let go, by default, seems like a loss or sacrifice. It just naturally feels like getting the short end of the stick, but that’s simply not true.

   Letting go is crucial to moving forward. As long as you have attachments to people, places or situations, they always hold some sort of power over you. Let me explain. Say there’s a person you don’t care for. You don’t bother them and they don’t bother you. One day, this person decides to gaslight you in a significant location, a professional environment. If you’re still holding on to whatever caused you to be at odds, that person is going to get a reaction out of you. If they don’t, you’ll most likely be bothered by the situation long after it’s over. In letting go of whatever this person did originally, you’re not forgetting it or throwing the towel in. You’re accepting that person as they are, no matter how fucked up the scenario. When you stop trying to justify or judge why a person did something, you remove the blockages you experience in regards to that person.

   By trusting that a person is who they show you, and not trying to rationalize it, you are giving yourself the ability to heal and move forward. When you allow a situation to heal in real time, you can leave the past in the past, with no attachments to the future. I’m not telling you to act like whatever never happened, I’m saying make peace with it so it doesn't hold power over you in the future. Anything that can get a reaction out of you from the past, has some level of power over you. If you’re having a wonderful life, but seeing someone from your past, with no words or contact, puts you in a bad mood, that’s something that needs to be healed. It’s pulling your focus and energy away from everything around you that's great, just to feed a lackluster memory from the past.  Letting go is recognizing that something isn’t serving you in the slightest, and shifting your energy towards things that will help move you forwards. Holding on to a past situation can’t help you in the future, and it will never change. Why keep wasting your energy on something that will never be fruitful?

   I’ll admit, when I first realized what letting go would require, I couldn’t do it at first. In my case, letting go meant I would have to admit to myself my own shortcomings and limitations. I think the same is true for a lot of us. When we are faced with letting something go, we have to face our own demons too. I had to accept that I couldn’t handle the situation that happened, hence the reason why I had so much anger around it. I wasn’t ready, or willing, to accept that the situation I found myself in, required a whole lot more effort and maturity than I could offer at the time. It was a lose-lose scenario, but my pride wouldn’t allow me to let go. I was determined to be the so-called victor. It took years for me to finally admit that there was never a possibility of things turning out the way I wanted. I had to let go of my need to control that situation. It was a hard pill to swallow, but the reward of not having to avoid the topic anymore, or be swayed is glorious.

   Break free of the manipulation and discomfort that comes with past grudges. Stop giving the past, no matter how big or small, the power to rob your future too. You know where you’re trying to go, leave behind whatever doesn’t fit that description. Stay up in the clouds where nobody can reach you. Keep an ear out, but use your discernment on when your response is necessary. Once you find balance, nothing can rob you of your energy. You get to choose what you feed into. Ships don’t sink until they let too much water in. Treat yourself the same way. Don't let the people wrong bring you down.

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