Why Now???

  When you wake up early, refreshed, and feelin' good, everything goes your way. You knock out your to do list effortlessly with plenty of time to spare. You even had time to get dressed and do a lil' makeup before you left the house. You look and feel AMAZING! Well... I'm not talking about those days. I'm talking about the "shit I overslept", "I'm not feelin' it", "let me go and come back" days. Now, yesterday when you were lookin' like Rhianna, nobody said a word, you didn't see anyone you knew, you didn't even see anyone you wanted to get to know. But today, of all days, when you look horrible even for a busted day, you see everybody!

  I promise it never fails, a 2 year appearance record shattered by the one day everyone sees you on a 5 minute trip to the corner store. It wouldn't be so bad if it was only strangers giving you a side eye, you'll never see them again. The problem is when you have awkward reunions with long lost friends and get approached by the people you would marry in a heartbeat! I personally have had the pleasure plenty of times trying to convince people that I don't have a life as bad as I currently look. You'd be surprised at how concerned people get when you look thrown away.

  Now that you've convinced your  acquaintances that you don't need a job or a free meal, you can finally get what you came for and retreat to safety. Unfortunately, nothing ever goes that smooth. As you make your home stretch to the car you hear someone calling out "excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute?" Assuming it's somebody who wants a few bucks or wants to sell you something, you stop. Who you see is the absolute last person you want to see on earth.

  You know when you have dreams you don't want to wake up from because they're so good? The ones that have people in them you're sure you've never seen before, but you wouldn't mind meeting them in real life? Yea, that's the kind of person who just stopped you to get to know you. On the outside looking in it's easy to think "the person likes you the way you are, so why does it matter how you look?" I assure you, that is NOT what you think about when you look like a gremlin and your future is meeting you for the first time.

  To your surprise, this new found crush must be blind because all they want to know is if you want to hang out later. Of course you jump at the opportunity, at least I always do, since they see you at rock bottom, every time they see you going forward you can only look better. Now that you've survived the embarrassment of being displayed at your worst, you can go home happy knowing that you still got it with negative effort. Another day conquered, and a hilarious story to tell over the phone later.

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